Twilight 9. THEORY

9. THEORYCan I ask alone atomic number 53 more? I pleaded as Edward accelerated much too quickly down the quiet street. He didnt seem to be paying whatsoever caution to the road.He sighed.One, he agreed. His lips pressed together into a cautious line.Well you said you knew I hadnt gone into the bookstore, and that I had gone south. I was in force(p) query how you knew that.He looked aside, deliberating.I thought we were prehistoric all the evasiveness, I grumbled.He almost smiled.Fine, then. I followed your scent. He looked at the road, giving me time to compose my face. I couldnt think of an acceptable response to that, that I filed it carefully away for future study. I tried to refocus. I wasnt make to let him be finished, at present that he was finally explaining things.And then you didnt answer one of my first questions I stalled.He looked at me with disapproval. Which one?How does it work the mind-reading thing? Can you read anybodys mind, anyplace? How do you do it? Can the rest of your family ? I felt silly, asking for clarification on make-believe.Thats more than one, he pointed out. I simply intertwined my fingers and gazed at him, waiting.no(prenominal) its just me. And I cant turn around anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someones voice is, the farther away I can hear them. But electrostatic, no more than a a few(prenominal) miles. He paused thoughtfully. Its a little similar being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. Its just a hum a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what theyre persuasion is clear.Most of the time I tune it all out it can be very distracting. And then its easier to seem normal he frowned as he said the word when Im non accidentally answering someones thoughts rather than their spoken communication.Why do you think you cant hear me? I asked curiously.He looked at me, his eyes enigmatic.I dont know, he murmured. The only adventure I have is that maybe yourmind doesnt work the identical way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and Im only acquiring FM. He grinned at me, suddenly amused.My mind doesnt work right? Im a freak? The words bothered me more than they should probably because his speculation hit home. Id forever suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed.I hear voices in my mind and youre worried that youre the freak, he express feelingsed. Dont worry, its just a theory His face tightened. Which brings us back to you.I sighed. How to begin?Arent we past all the evasions now? he reminded me softly.I looked away from his face for the first time, nerve-racking to find words. I happened to bank none the speedometer.Holy crow I shouted. Slow downWhats wrong? He was openingled. But the car didnt decelerate.Youre going a hundred miles an hour I was becalm shouting. I shot a panicky glance out the window, but it was too dark to see much. The r oad was only visible in the considerable patch of bluish brightness from the headlights. The forest along both sides of the road was corresponding a black wall as hard as a wall of steel if we veered off the road at this speed.Relax, Bella. He rolled his eyes, motionlessness not slowing.Are you trying to kill us? I demanded.Were not going to crash.I tried to modulate my voice. Why are you in such a hurry?I always drive like this. He perverted to smile crookedly at me.Keep your eyes on the roadIve never been in an accident, Bella Ive never even gotten a ticket. He grinned and tapped his forehead. build in radar detector.Very funny. I fumed. Charlies a cop, remember? I was raised to abide by traffic laws. Besides, if you turn us into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk, you can probably just walk away.Probably, he agreed with a short, hard laugh. But you cant. He sighed, and I watched with relief as the prick gradually drifted toward eighty. Happy?Almost.I hate driving slow, h e muttered.This is slow?Enough commentary on my driving, he snapped. Im understood waiting for your latest theory.I bit my lip. He looked down at me, his honey eyes unexpectedly gentle.I wont laugh, he promised.Im more afraid that youll be angry with me.Is it that bad? around much, yeah.He waited. I was looking down at my hands, so I couldnt see hisexpression.Go up. His voice was calm.I dont know how to start, I admitted.Why dont you start at the beginning you said you didnt come up with this on your own.No.What got you started a book? A movie? he probed.No it was Saturday, at the beach. I risked a glance up at his face. He looked puzzled.I ran into an old family friend -Jacob Black, I continued. His dad and Charlie have been friends since I was a baby.He still looked confused.His dad is one of the Quileute elders. I watched him carefully. His confused expression froze in place. We went for a walk - I edited all my scheming out of the story - and he was telling me some old lege nds trying to scare me, I think. He told me one I hesitated.Go on, he said. about(predicate) vampires. I realized I was whispering. I couldnt look at his face now. But I saw his knuckles tighten convulsively on the wheel.And you immediately thought of me? Still calm.No. He mentioned your family.He was silent, staring at the road.I was worried suddenly, worried about protecting Jacob.He just thought it was a silly superstition, I said quickly. He didnt expect me to think anything of it. It didnt seem like generous I had to confess. It was my fault, I forced him to tell me.Why?Lauren said something about you she was trying to provoke me. And an older boy from the tribe said your family didnt come to the reservation, only it sounded like he meant something different. So I got Jacob alone and I tricked it out of him, I admitted, hanging my head.He startled me by laughing. I glared up at him. He was laughing, but his eyes were fierce, staring ahead.Tricked him how? he asked.I tried to crunch it worked better than I thought it would. Disbelief colored my footprint as I remembered.Id like to have seen that. He chuckled darkly. And you accused me of dazzling people despicable Jacob Black.I blushed and looked out my window into the night.What did you do then? he asked after a minute.I did some research on the Internet.And did that convince you? His voice sounded scarce interested. But his hands were clamped hard onto the steering wheel.No. Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then I stopped.What?I decided it didnt theme, I whispered.It didnt matter? His tone made me look up I had finally broken through his carefully composed mask. His face was incredulous, with just a hint of the anger Id feared.No, I said softly. It doesnt matter to me what you are.A hard, mocking edge entered his voice. You dont care if Im a monster? If Im not humanNo.He was silent, staring straight ahead again. His face was bleak and cold.Youre angry, I sighed. I shouldnt have s aid anything.No, he said, but his tone was as hard as his face. Id rather know what youre thinking even if what youre thinking is insane.So Im wrong again? I challenged.Thats not what I was referring to. It doesnt matter he quoted, gritting his teeth together.Im right? I gasped.Does it matter?I took a deep breath.Not really. I paused. But I am curious. My voice, at least, was composed.He was suddenly resigned. What are you curious about?How old are you?Seventeen, he answered promptly.And how long have you been seventeen?His lips twitched as he stared at the road. A while, he admitted at last.Okay. I smiled, pleased that he was still being impartial with me. He stared down at me with watchful eyes, much as he had before, when he was worried I would go into shock. I smiled wider in encouragement, and he frowned.Dont laugh but how can you come out during the daytime?He laughed anyway. Myth.Burned by the sun?Myth.Sleeping in coffins?Myth. He hesitated for a moment, and a unique tone entered his voice. I cant sleep.It took me a minute to absorb that. At all?Never, he said, his voice nearly inaudible. He turned to look at me with a wistful expression. The golden eyes held mine, and I lost my train of thought. I stared at him until he looked away.You havent asked me the most important question yet. His voice washard now, and when he looked at me again his eyes were cold.I blinked, still dazed. Which one is that?You arent concerned about my diet? he asked sarcastically.Oh, I murmured, that.Yes, that. His voice was bleak. Dont you take to know if I drink blood?I flinched. Well, Jacob said something about that.What did Jacob regularize? he asked flatly.He said you didnt hunt people. He said your family wasnt supposed to be solemn because you only hunted animals.He said we werent dangerous? His voice was deeply skeptical.Not exactly. He said you werent supposed to be dangerous. But the Quileutes still didnt want you on their land, just in case.He looked forward, b ut I couldnt tell if he was watching the road or not.So was he right? About not inquisition people? I tried to keep my voice as even as possible.The Quileutes have a long memory, he whispered.I took it as a confirmation.Dont let that make you complacent, though, he warned me. Theyre right to keep their distance from us. We are still dangerous. I dont understand.We try, he explained slowly. Were usually very grievous at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you.This is a mistake? I heard the sadness in my voice, but I didnt know if he could as well.A very dangerous one, he murmured.We were both silent then. I watched the headlights twist with the curves of the road. They moved too fast it didnt look real, it looked like a video game. I was aware of the time slipping away so quickly, like the black road beneath us, and I was hideously afraid that I would never have another chance to be with him like this again openly, the walls be tween us gone for once. His words hinted at an end, and I recoiled from the idea. I couldnt consume one minute I had with him.Tell me more, I asked desperately, not caring what he said, just so I could hear his voice again.He looked at me quickly, startled by the change in my tone. What more do you want to know?Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people, I suggested, my voice still tinged with desperation. I realized my eyes were wet, and I fought against the grief that was trying to overpower me.I dont want to be a monster. His voice was very low.But animals arent enough?He paused. I cant be sure, of course, but Id compare it to living on tofu and soy milk we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesnt completely replete the hunger or rather thirst. But it keens us strong enough to resist. Most of the time. His tone turned ominous.Sometimes its more severe than others.Is it very difficult for you now? I asked.He sighed. Yes.But youre not hungry now, I said confidently stating, not asking.Why do you think that?Your eyes. I told you I had a theory. Ive noticed that people men in particular are crabbier when theyre hungry.He chuckled. You are observant, arent you?I didnt answer I just listened to the sound of his laugh, committing it to memory.Were you hunting this weekend, with Emmett? I asked when it was quiet again.Yes. He paused for a second, as if deciding whether or not to say something. I didnt want to leave, but it was necessary. Its a bit easier to be around you when Im not thirsty.Why didnt you want to leave?It makes me anxious to be away from you. His eyes were gentle but intense, and they seemed to be making my bones turn soft. I wasnt joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over last Thursday. I was deflect all weekend, worrying about you. And after what happened tonight, Im surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed. He agitate his head, and then seemed to remember somet hing. Well, not totally unscathed.What?Your hands, he reminded me. I looked down at my palms, at the almost-healed scrapes across the heels of my hands. His eyes missed nothing.I fell, I sighed.Thats what I thought. His lips curved up at the corners. I suppose, being you, it could have been much worse and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmetts nerves. He smiled ruefully at me.Three days? Didnt you just get back today?No, we got back Sunday.Then why werent any of you in school? I was frustrated, almost angry as I thought of how much disappointment I had suffered because of his absence.Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesnt. But I cant go out in the sunlight at least, not where anyone can see.Why?Ill show you sometime, he promised.I thought about it for a moment.You capacity have called me, I decided.He was puzzled. But I knew you were safe.But I didnt know where you were. I - I hesitated, dropping my eyes.What? His velvety voice was compelling.I didnt like it. Not seeing you. It makes me anxious, too. I blushed to be saying this out loud.He was quiet. I glanced up, apprehensive, and saw that his expression was pained.Ah, he groaned quietly. This is wrong.I couldnt understand his response. What did I say?Dont you see, Bella? Its one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved. He turned his anguished eyes to the road, his words flowing almost too fast for me to understand. I dont want to hear that you feel that way. His voice was low but urgent. His words cut me. Its wrong. Its not safe. Im dangerous, Bella please, achieve that.No. I tried very hard not to look like a sulky child.Im serious, he growled.So am I. I told you, it doesnt matter what you are. Its too late.His voice whipped out, low and harsh. Never say that.I bit my lip and was glad he couldnt know how much that hurt. I stared out at the road. We must be close now. He was driving much too fast.What are you thinking? he asked, his voice still raw. I just shook my head, not sure if I could speak. I could feel his gaze on my face, but I kept my eyes forward.Are you crying? He sounded appalled. I hadnt realized the moisture in my eyes had brimmed over. I quickly rubbed my hand across my cheek, and sure enough, traitor tears were there, betraying me.No, I said, but my voice cracked.I saw him reach toward me hesitantly with his right hand, but then he stopped and placed it slowly back on the steering wheel.Im sorry. His voice burned with regret. I knew he wasnt just apologizing for the words that had upset me.The darkness slipped by us in silence.Tell me something, he asked after another minute, and I could hear him struggle to use a lighter tone.Yes?What were you thinking tonight, just before I came around the corner? I couldnt understand your expression you didnt look that scared, you looked like you were concentrating very hard on something.I was trying to remember how to incapacitate an attacker you know, self-defense. I was going to smash his nose into his brain. I thought of the brunet man with a surge of hate.You were going to fight them? This upset him. Didnt you think about running?I fall down a lot when I run, I admitted.What about screaming for help?I was getting to that part.He shook his head. You were right Im definitely fighting fate trying to keep you alive.I sighed. We were slowing, passing into the boundaries of Forks. It had taken less than twenty minutes.Will I see you tomorrow? I demanded.Yes I have a paper due, too. He smiled. Ill economise you a seat at lunch.It was silly, after everything wed been through tonight, how that little promise sent flutters through my stomach, and made me unable to speak.We were in front of Charlies house. The lights were on, my truck in its place, everything utterly normal. It was like waking from a dream. He stopped the car, but I didnt move.Do you promise to be there t omorrow?I promise.I considered that for a moment, then nodded. I pulled his jacket off, taking one last whiff.You can keep it you dont have a jacket for tomorrow, he reminded me.I pass on it back to him. I dont want to have to explain to Charlie.Oh, right. He grinned.I hesitated, my hand on the room access handle, trying to prolong the moment.Bella? he asked in a different tone serious, but hesitant.Yes? I turned back to him too eagerly.Will you promise me something?Yes, I said, and instantly regretted my unconditional agreement. What if he asked me to stay away from him? I couldnt keep that promise.Dont go into the woods alone.I stared at him in blank confusion. Why?He frowned, and his eyes were tight as he stared past me out the window.Im not always the most dangerous thing out there. Lets leave it at that.I shuddered slightly at the sudden bleakness in his voice, but I was relieved. This, at least, was an easy promise to honor. Whatever you say.Ill see you tomorrow, he sighed, and I knew he wanted me to leave now.Tomorrow, then. I opened the door unwillingly.Bella? I turned and he was leaning toward me, his pale, glorious face just inches from mine. My heart stopped beating.Sleep well, he said. His breath blew in my face, stunning me. It was the same exquisite scent that clung to his jacket, but in a more concentrated form. I blinked, thoroughly dazed. He leaned away.I was unable to move until my brain had somewhat unscrambled itself. Then I stepped out of the car awkwardly, having to use the frame for support. I thought I heard him chuckle, but the sound was too quiet for me to be certain.He waited till I had stumbled to the front door, and then I heard his engine quietly rev. I turned to watch the silver car fly around the corner. I realized it was very cold.I reached for the key mechanically, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.Charlie called from the living room. Bella?Yeah, Dad, its me. I walked in to see him. He was watching a baseball game.Your e home early.Am I? I was surprised.Its not even eight yet, he told me. Did you girls have fun?Yeah it was lots of fun. My head was spinning as I tried to remember all the way back to the girls night out I had planned. They both found dresses.Are you all right?Im just commonplace. I did a lot of walking.Well, maybe you should go lie down. He sounded concerned. I wondered what my face looked like.Im just going to call Jessica first.Werent you just with her? he asked, surprised.Yes but I leftfield my jacket in her car. I want to make sure she brings it tomorrow.Well, give her a chance to get home first.Right, I agreed.I went to the kitchen and fell, exhausted, into a chair. I was really feeling dizzy now. I wondered if I was going to go into shock after all. Get a grip, I told myself.The knell rang suddenly, startling me. I yanked it off the hook.Hello? I asked breathlessly.Bella?Hey, Jess, I was just going to call you.You made it home? Her voice was relieved and surprised.Yes. I left my jacket in your car could you bring it to me tomorrow?Sure. But tell me what happened she demanded.Um, tomorrow in Trig, okay?She caught on quickly. Oh, is your dad there?Yes, thats right.Okay, Ill talk to you tomorrow, then. offer I could hear the impatience in her voice.Bye, Jess.I walked up the stairs slowly, a heavy stupor clouding my mind. I went through the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention to what I was doing. It wasnt until I was in the shower the water too hot, burning my skin that I realized I was freezing. I shuddered violently for several minutes before the steaming spray could finally relax my rigid muscles. Then I stood in the shower, too tired to move, until the hot water began to run out.I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the heat from the water in so the comprehend shivers wouldnt return. I dressed for bed swiftly and climbed under my quilt, curling into a ball, hugging myself to keep warm. A few small shudders trembled through me.My mind still swirled dizzily, full of images I couldnt understand, and some I fought to repress. Nothing seemed clear at first, but as I fell gradually closer to unconsciousness, a few certainties became evident.About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him and I didnt know how potent that part might be that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was flatly and irrevocably in love with him.